One of my biggest challenges about creating this blog was facing my own anxieties about posting about my anxiety…ironically. For someone suffering with social anxiety disorder, one of the most terrifying things is the possibility of receiving rejection. Every time I share a blog post about my problems with mental health then the anxiety creeps in telling me: “they’re going to laugh at you”, “Just give up” etc. etc. Sharing blog posts with friends is the worst because I know there’s no way to hide from rejection or judgement when you see someone on a daily basis. Sometimes I’ll share my blog posts with my own personal Instagram and my hands will shake, no exaggeration. I just made an instagram for this blog page which you can follow @ http://www.instagram.com/mymessedupmind1 and a twitter account under the same username. I noticed some of my friends follow the account and I already feel a little sick and dizzy…
Is it hot in here…or…?
What Keeps Me Going?
The battle against mental health stigma is what keeps me going. Those that stand up to mental health give me hope that there can be a future where people will realise that mental health is a real problem. A future when I can tell a friend: “Hey, I have anxiety and depression” and they’ll more often-than-not say: “OMG I had no idea, we need to take you to a therapist”, instead of something like: “Oh…well, I get sad and scared sometimes too”. Or most often: *doesn’t say anything at all*. Or *awkwardly changes the subject*. I want a future when I can also say this kind of thing without feeling shame. Why is it that when I tell people I have mental illnesses that I feel like I just murdered a child? Why is it when I see an interesting self-help book in WHSmith do I hide the front cover like I’m reading some kind of book for psychopaths?
So you could say that, in other words, other than being quite therapeutic, this blog page is like my very own campaign or movement for change against the mental health stigma.